Live Long and Well

I AM A 58-YEAR-OLD married man. I have five children and, as of the writing of this book, eight grandchildren. I have been interested in men's health since I was 6 years old, when my father became seriously ill.

I was a biology major in college and went into medical school after I graduated. My interest in the psychosocial aspects of health quickly deepened and I soon left the study of medicine and enrolled in the School of Social Work at the University of California at Berkeley.

The women's movement was beginning to have an impact on the wider society and a number of women's health clinics were being started. There was a recognition that women's health needs were different than men's and required a gender-specific approach to healing.

At that time many believed that all health care was geared toward the needs of men—that everything, other than the few clinics for women, was family and general health care. Following that reasoning there would be no need for a specific focus on men's health. I didn't believe that was true then and I don't believe it is true now.

I have written this book to show the importance of a specific health program for men and to give men specific guidance in using the program to stay healthy as we age. My 37 years of experience in the health field has convinced me that it is just as important that men have a health program that speaks to our needs as it is that women have a program that focuses on their unique health concerns.

Some people are afraid that an approach to health that takes into account the differences between men and women would lead toward inequality and poorer care for one sex. I don't believe that needs to be the case. Acknowledging the differences in our health needs, as well as the similarities, can go a long way toward ensuring that men and women are as healthy as it is possible for us to be.

Most people would agree that men and women are different. There are obvious differences in our bodies. But the differences go beyond our anatomy. We now know that men's and women's brains are different, both in structure and in operation. We have different reactions to many medications. We deal with stress in different ways. Our emotional vulnerabilities differ. We contract disease and die at different rates. It's time we acknowledged the differences and developed programs to meet the specific needs of men as well as women.

This approach is becoming accepted globally. "While a gender-specific approach is often used to identify persistent inequalities in the status of women," says a recent report from the World Health Organization, "the specific situation of men, particularly older men, also requires investigation and further studies, especially with regard to the determinants of health."

I also wrote this book because there are significant differences between the health issues that younger men experience and those that we experience as we get older. For instance, prostate infections are quite common in younger men. Prostate enlargement is often present as we age. Violence is the cause of death for many young men. The lack of intimacy and love is the cause of death for many older men.

In our younger years we often took our health for granted. We didn't learn all we could because we didn't think we needed to do anything specific to stay healthy. As we get older it is clear that we need more information, and we need the support to act on that information.

The third reason I wrote this book is that my experience convinced me that we needed an integrative approach to healing that took into account all aspects of men's health. It isn't enough to focus on getting men to go to the doctor more often. In fact, men's reluctance to go to doctors may be because we know that seeing a doctor is not the most important aspect of health.

We need to focus on nutrition, hormones, physical activity, feelings and emotions, our career and calling, understanding women, and how to develop intimacy. We need to learn how support from other men can be lifesaving. And we need to learn how all these aspects of health can work together.

Staying healthy can be so much fun. Health is too important to be taken seriously. We need to add more joy into our health practices. In my younger years I thought fun was eating poorly, drinking too much, and watching TV sports on weekends. Now I'm more inclined to enjoy great food, drink moderate quantities of excellent wine, and play sports on the weekends. There are so many ways to enjoy staying healthy as we age, and I want to share them with you.

I write the kinds of books I would like to read. When talking about health, I want good factual information. I also want it clear and personal. I distrust going to a doctor who gives me advice on health but appears unhealthy himself. I want to know about him and if he practices what he preaches. In this book I'll tell you about my own experiences, what I do to stay healthy, and what I've learned working with men over the last 37 years.

Although this is a men's health book, it isn't just for men. I know you are interested in information that can help your husband, brother, father, and son. Women are often in the position of being the family health expert. I know there are many things you want to know about a man's unique health needs.

One of the greatest tragedies of life is that so many of you spend many years alone after the premature death of your spouse or must watch as a once vital man deteriorates and goes downhill as he ages. That doesn't need to be the case. This book is here to help you help him.

This is a wonderful time to be alive. For the first time in human history we are able to experience the full potential of our genetically programmed life span. Many men and women are now living well past 100 years, and their numbers are expected to rise dramatically over the next 25 years. Not only are we learning how to add years to our life, but how to add life to our years. Nearly every day there are new breakthroughs in science and medicine that offer promise for a longer and better future.

The real challenge will be for us to learn how we can best use these added years. There are so many opportunities to make use of our gifts and talents. I invite you to join me in exploring this future together. We are all pioneers in a new world in which we can all live long and well.

I'm pleased you are reading The Whole Man Program. It has been a joy to research and write, and I hope you will find it a joy to read. I want to tell you a little about what you will find in the book and some ideas about how to move through the book to get the most out of it.

In Part I we will look at the positive potential for living long and well in the second half of life. You will learn about the research on men who have lived healthy and productive lives and are still going strong past their hundredth birthday. We will see what these men can teach us about life. I will share my own health journey and the progress and direction of the new men's health movement. You will learn about andropause, or male menopause, and how this critical life stage can determine our future health and well being.

In Part II we explore the problem that men face today. You will learn why we currently die sooner and live sicker than women, the reasons we don't take better care of ourselves, and about the male shame that often keeps us stuck in unhealthy patterns.

In Part III you will be given the first section of the Men Alive Program for Total Health. You will learn the secrets of how to eat well so you never develop a potbelly and lower your risk of ever suffering a heart attack. You will learn about male hormones and testosterone replacement therapy. You will find out what kind of physical activity is best for you and learn how to have fun exercising for life.

In Part IV you will explore the inner world of feelings and emotions and receive guidance to keep your emotional life happy and healthy. You will learn the difference between your "career" and your "calling" and how to live your calling in the second half of your life.

In Part V you will be given the third part of the Men Alive Program, which focuses on the vital importance of intimacy and love in keeping us vital and healthy as we age. You will get a glimpse inside a men's group and find out why its members feel it may be the key factor contributing to their physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

You will learn about the phenomenon of gender shifting and find out why men become more gentle, sensitive, and caring as we age. You will be introduced to the archetypal Woman and feel how she influences all our relationships. Finally, you will learn the most valuable, and perhaps the most difficult, health practice: how to have an intimate partnership that stays sexy and alive throughout the ages.

In Part VI you will be invited to take the Eight-Week Men's Health Challenge to put into practice what you have learned and begin a health journey that will last the rest of your life.

This is an action-oriented book. You don't need to wait until the end of the book to put something you learn into practice. I hope you will stop reading at many points in the book and take time out to do something. Believe me, if you want your health to improve, you need to act on what you learn.

If you read something that sounds good, try it out. See how it might work in your life. You'll never know until you try. I've also included a number of plainly marked Action Options. These offer you specific suggestions for putting what you are learning into practice.

At the end of the book I have included a bibliography of readings that will allow you to delve more deeply into the subject of men's health. There is also a resource section that will allow you to use the Internet to keep up on the latest information in the emerging field of gender medicine.

There are a number of ways you can use this book, and you'll probably find ways I haven't even thought of.

1. You can start at the beginning and read on through to the end, doing the Action Options as they come up.

2. You can go to specific chapters that interest you right now and take action in those areas that concern you the most.

3. You can think of the first four parts of the book as a four-month program and do a part each month.

If you decide to complete the Eight-Week Men's Health Challenge it will help if you've read the whole book, and you will need to be familiar with the chapters in the program section of the book.

I expect that many of you will work with this book through the years. You will want to pick it up again and again to review certain sections that will relate to health issues you are dealing with at that time.

I hope you will stay in touch with me and let me know what is working for you. I would also like to know about new discoveries you find and new resources you think would be helpful to others. One of the main goals of the book is to let men know we are not alone and that we can help each other to stay healthy and live well.

The best way to reach me is by e-mail: Jed@ menalive.com. I also have an online newsletter and information through my web site: http:// www.menalive.com.