I never meant to become a writer. I love to read and I had gotten interested in issues related to sex, men, and women (issues close to my heart, mind, and soul, not to mention other parts of my body/mind).
I was in a men’s group and we had all read a book by Herb Goldberg called the Hazards of Being Male when it came out in 1976 (I still have my copy). Goldberg said, “The male has paid a heavy price for his masculine ‘privilege’ and power. He is out of touch with his emotions and his body. He is playing by the rules of the male game plan and with lemming-like purpose he is destroying himself—emotionally, psychologically, and physically.”
I wanted to read more books like these, but most everything I was seeing in the stores was written by and for women
Guys in my men’s group suggested I write the kind of book I wanted to read. I protested. “I’m not a writer. I don’t know anything about writing. I’m a therapist.” But I discovered a workshop by Marc Allen, a published writer, and founder of New World Publishing. There were only a few of us who attended, but that day changed my life.
He began by saying that there were two things he liked about being an author. First, he said, “While we’re sitting here on a Saturday talking about writing, there are people out in the world right now who are buying a book I’ve written.” I liked the idea of working and then having a product that keeps on working, even I’m doing something else. Second, he said, “When you get published the publisher pays you a thing they call ‘royalties.’ It’s a good feeling to be treated like royalty.” I was hooked with that. Me, royalty? Little ol’ Jed Diamond, a Jewish boy from New York?
Then he showed us how a book gets created. He pulled a few books off his shelf. They were beautiful, each one works of art. I couldn’t imagine creating anything like that. But then he pulled out a one page outline. He told us, “This is how my first book started, just an outline of a talk I was giving.” I had done something like that, but never thought of it as the first step to a book. He described another 5 or 6 steps from the one page outline for a talk, to a mini-class with notes, and finally to a book.
For the first time, I could actually see how to get from step one to the next step. I didn’t really believe I could produce a book, but a year later I had written my first book, Inside Out: Becoming My Own Man, which was published in 1983. 31 years and 12 books later, I still like the feeling of knowing that as I sit here writing this, there are people out in the world buying one of my books. And I still feel like royalty.
Have you written a book? What was it like for you? Have you thought of writing one? Are you ready to take the first step?
Hi Jed!
While I have not written a book it’s definitely on my near future radar.
I have taken the first step towards writing a book (blogging), building an audience and testing out a variety of topics. I write something and see what type of response am I getting.
One very important lesson i’ve learned, is that I need to get immediate feedback on the posts that I write. I send the post out to my mailing list and then ask 4-5 friends what they liked and did not like about it. Their responses help me grow and develop even faster.
-Ben
Hi Jed,
I have written a couple of books. As a professional speaker who spoke at many conferences I learned you have more credibility and can make extra money if you have a book. My first book, entitled ‘Prime Cuts: life strategies for farming after 50’ was written for farm and ranch families.
My second book (which you are familiar with) is ‘A Harley Or My Wife: A guide for midlife men (and the women who love them). This book is a compilation of my best columns from several years of my weekly enewsletter. I published it because I thought it would be helpful for men going through a midlife transtition, and for their partners. I sell it through my website: http://www.midlife-men.com. I actually sell more ebooks than hard copy books.
Noel McNaughton
“…suggested I write the kind of book I wanted to read” — exactly. When I couldn’t find books that normalized and celebrated later-life sexuality, I wrote my own: Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. And I’m still doing it — my newest book, The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, comes out early 2015!
Writers aren’t paid much. To stay in this topsy-turvy business, we have to love what we do. I love my work, and I know that you, Jed, love yours.
I started my first book when I was about ten years old….
It was the 3rd book of a serious. The real writer only had written 2 and I thought there must be another one… so I started. So I actualy started writing the book I was missing and wanted to read.
I think making a book in 2015 should be on my to do list.
The course for learning how, already is.
Thanks for the comments, my friends. I love reading and writing books. I’m working on a new one since there’s renewed interest in men’s health, mid-life change, and testosterone. The working title is Manopause and Low T: The Handbook for Men and Those Who Care About Men. Here is my reply to the recent Time magazine cover story on Manopause. http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/manopause-mens-health-wcz/