What Your Doctor Never Taught You About Healing From the Flu (or Other Illnesses) 

It began just after New Year’s. My wife and I got a call from our adult son. He was extremely stressed and agitated and was in a real emotional distress. After talking with him for an hour I decided I needed to get on a plane and be with him. Shortly after I arrived I started to get the first symptoms of the flu. I had a fever and was hot, then cold. I doctored as best I could and helped settle things down with my son. I flew back home, but by then I had serious breathing problems, was wheezing, coughing, and feeling awful.

I made an appointment with my doctor and was put on two inhalers. The first, Albuterol, is a bronchodilator that relaxes muscles in the airways and increases air flow to the lungs. The second, QVAR is an inhaled corticosteroid. It has small particles of medicine that are designed to reach deep into the large and small airways, where asthma inflammation exists. It was meant for deeper healing and preventing further lung problems.

Getting my instructions for healing, I was sent home. But there were a number of things my doctor didn’t teach me about healing from the flu. Here are some that I learned. Hopefully, they will help you when you’re dealing with the flu or other illness.

1. All medications have “side effects.”

Often, we think of drugs as magic bullets that do directly to the effected area, in my case, the lungs, eliminate the inflammation, open the pathways, and allow my lungs to heal. But all medications have side-effects that aren’t always discussed. After starting using the inhalers, I noticed a number of things that concerned me:

• I was becoming more anxious.
• My mouth was extremely dry all the time.
• I had stomach upset and slight nausea.

My doctor never talked about side effects, so I assumed these were just more symptoms of the flu. However, I looked up the side effects on-line and found the following:

• Stomach upset, nausea.
• Stuffy nose.
• Dryness in your mouth and throat.
• Hoarseness or deepening of the voice (I had that, but wasn’t concerned).

I asked my holistic doctor about the anxiety. “Of course, there would be some anxiety,” he told me. “You’re using a steroid, which is like adrenaline.”

All of the above made it difficult to sleep. During the day I was OK, but at night things became more challenging. Knowing the side effects, helped relief my anxieties. At least I knew what was causing the symptoms.

2. We get sick for a reason.

Viruses are all around us, all the time. But we don’t all get sick. I had taken the precautionary flu vaccines, but they don’t always work. Flu types change all the time. It’s good to get some protection, yet it doesn’t always work. In reflecting on why my own immune system may have been compromised such that I was more at risk for getting sick, I realized there were a number of factors:

• There had been a lot of stress in our lives during 2017. Two of our grandchildren had gotten into trouble.
• Later in the year, one of our other sons had a serious tumor and had to undergo emergency surgery. We flew down to be with him and his wife.
• The fires in our area earlier in the year added to our stress levels and the smoke likely caused problems with my lungs.
• Finally, the recent emergency trip to help my son, added to the stress.

3. Sickness often causes us to re-experience childhood trauma and illness.

As far back as I can remember as a child, I had breathing problems. At certain times of the year I would wheeze and have symptoms of asthma. The treatment of choice back then was to put me in my bedroom and run a vaporizer that pumped out steam through the night. It helped, but I felt alone and abandoned.

My mother was always afraid that I’d die, so when I was sick she would often withdraw. She would take me to doctors, but emotionally she didn’t provide much TLC when I was scared at night. I learned to rely on my “imaginary friends.” Of course, now that I’m adult, I don’t have imaginary friends. Now I call them my spirit guides.

The illness also triggered feelings of anxiety and terror from the past and stirred up some of my old experiences with depression.

In order to heal in the present, I have to remind myself that I’m no longer a little child. I have more wisdom on how to heal and I can call on many more people for love and support that I couldn’t do when I was a child.

My men’s group and lots of friends have been supportive. My wife, Carlin, though sick herself, has been a tremendous source of love and support.

4. Sickness can teach us important things about ourselves.

One of the lessons I’ve learned from this illness is how vulnerable we human beings are. We think we’ve got life under control, that we’ve got it all figured out, then BOOM, we’re hit with something that knocks us off our feet. I realized that I can’t take my health for granted. I want to continue to do things that keep me healthy—walking, doing Zumba, eating well, surrounding myself with friends, and setting limits of what I can do to help others.

My wife, Carlin, said an interesting thing to me when I was fretting about our son. “You don’t have to be my hero, you just have to be my lover.” She pointed out that I had fallen into a pattern of thinking I had to rescue our children who were in trouble so I could be her hero and that I was worthy of love. With love and compassion, she helped me see that I didn’t have to prove myself by slaying dragons or saving others. What a great gift of love. Thank you, Carlin.

But the older we get, we realize we can’t save anyone else, even our own children. Everyone has their own path to walk, their own lessons to learn. This may have been the most important lesson of all for me. I consider myself a healer and a helper, but there are limits on what I can do.

I need to accept my vulnerabilities as a human being, accept that healing takes longer when we’re older, and know I can’t save others. I can only do my little bit to love more deeply and feel gratitude for all the gifts of love that are in my life. Thank you, Carlin, for your wisdom and love.

I look forward to hearing from you. Your comments and sharing are my reward for writing these articles.