Most of us don’t want to think about suicide, but it is part of the human condition. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), suicide is a major public health problem in high-income countries and is an emerging problem in low and middle-income countries. Here are some things everyone should know:
- Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the world, especially among young people.
- Nearly one million people worldwide die by suicide each year. This corresponds to one death by suicide every 40 seconds.
- The number of lives lost each year through suicide exceeds the number of deaths due to homicide and war combined.
- Suicide is among the three leading causes of death among those aged 15-44 years in some countries, and the second leading cause of death in the 10-24 years age group.
- These staggering figures do not include nonfatal suicide attempts which occur much more frequently than deaths by suicide.
- For person who takes their own life, 20 will attempt suicide.
When someone reaches such a point of despair that they attempt to take their own life, everyone they know is impacted, including family, friends, and colleagues. I know. I am still living with the effect of my father’s attempted suicide in I was 5 years old.
Although traditionally suicide rates have been highest among the male elderly, rates among young people have been increasing to such an extent that they are now the group at highest risk in a third of countries in both developed and developing countries.
Mental disorders (particularly depression and alcohol use disorders) are a major risk factor for suicide in Europe and North America; however, in Asian countries impulsiveness plays an important role. Suicide is complex with psychological, social, biological, cultural and environmental factors involved.
Worldwide, the prevention of suicide has not been adequately addressed due to a lack of awareness of suicide as a major problem and the taboo in many societies to discuss openly about it. In fact, only a few countries have included prevention of suicide among their priorities.
The International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) and the World Health Organization (WHO) are co-sponsoring World Suicide Prevention Day on September 10th. The theme of this 11th anniversary event is “Stigma: A Major Barrier for Suicide Prevention.”
My father was one of the millions of people who suffer from mental illness. In his case depression was a contributing factor to his inability to cope with the stresses of life. Now, as then, there is a lot of misinformation and stigma attached to mental illness. For men, it is seen as particularly “unmanly” by many not to be able to handle problems ourselves.
Recent estimates suggest that the disease burden caused by mental illnesses will account for 25% of the total disease burden in the world in the next two decades, making it the most important category of ill-health (more important than cancer or heart diseases). Yet a significant number of those with mental illnesses who die by suicide do not contact health or social services near the time of their death. In many instances there are insufficient services available to assist those in need at times of crisis.
This lack of access to appropriate care is one of the many factors that magnify the stigma associated with mental illness and with suicidal ideation and behavior. But everyone knows someone who needs support to deal with the emotional stresses of life. There are things you can do. The first is to become informed. One simple way to do that is to learn about the activities of World Suicide Prevention Day, September 10, 2013. You can get more information here: http://www.iasp.info/wspd/.
Together we heal. What has been your experience with suicide? What lessons have you learned?
What Every Man, and Women Who Loves Them, Should Know About Suicide
The headline of your article shows that you are part of the problem, every man is NOT in a relationship with a woman and that does not mean they are homosexual. I am 58 and have been made redundant after 25 years in the same job. Suicide is the easy way out in a world where every man is expected to be happily married and have a successful career. Every night I ask God to take my life but He gives me something new every day and I keep on living, I pay rent on a house and have been given two months notice, where I will go is something that I do not know, if I cannot keep a roof over my head then I may have no other options but to end it as painlessly as possible.
Robert, I don’t know what else to say but that a lot of what you say is right and I’m very sorry you’re dealing with this. 🙁
Thanks for your reply, the pressure to perform is common to men and women of all ages, Richard Branson thinks we can all become the CEO’s of a major airline but the reality is that without pilots, ground crew and all the other people needed to run an airline Richard Branson would be on the dole queue like the rest of us. We have become too isolated from each other, and we believe that success is measured in millions of dollars.
Robert, you’re absolutely right that not all depressed men are in relationship with a woman. There are many critical stresses that can cause a man who question whether it is worthwhile going on with his life. There were times in my own life, particularly when I was out of work, that I felt so down I didn’t know whether I would make it.
Thanks for having the courage to share your feelings here and to keep getting up every day even when life seems so hopeless.
You’re not alone in your feelings and what you are saying can help many men who may be reading this, but have not yet spoken out.
I was depressed from an early age. As a child, I always wanted to be dead. I know now that it was probably after my clitoridectomy. I was bereft. Life didn’t seem worth living. I went to the kitchen to get a knife to cut out my heart, but I was too small to reach the sharp knives – I didn’t even know where they were kept.
When I went back to my bed that night, I heard a voice say, “What makes you think it would be any different if you were to die?” I had to admit I had no guarantee. But I saw the implication was that I would have to live through those early childhood years again – no way! – and so I have stayed. My teen years and early twenties were no better. But after that, each year my heart has grown more full and rich and happy. I have no external possessions to brag about, but peace of mind and joy are my priceless treasures.
Depression is not irrational. It is a diagnosis that is like that drawer in the kitchen where you put everything you don’t know what to do with. Depression is an accumulation of legitimate, but unreleased fears, angers and sorrows. Our society does not allow grieving and does not offer anything much better than “you are born, life is for suffering, technology advances, and then you die.”. Religion often makes life on earth sound like a prison sentence, a valley of tears, after which – if you are perfect – you get to go to “heaven” and experience something that might or might not be all that much better than what you have known on earth… but there are no guarantees on any level.
What finally brought me out of my depression was the discovery that when I was very very quiet, I could feel my heart…
“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer… no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.”
― Albert Camus, The Stranger
Another way to say that is, “The Kingdom of Heaven is within you.” It IS! And it is to be known NOW. But only one thing can exist in one place at one time, so as long as we hold on to feelings from the past, we do not feel that beauty that already exists in our own hearts.
I found that I had something important to do here on planet earth. Until I released all that old baggage, I might just come back over and over again – no way! And so I began to do my work and began to let go of all that old and ugly stuff.
We are fortunate in this age to have lots of help – from people and healing systems like Jed Diamond, Byron Katie’s “The Work”, Gary Craig’s “EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique”, Hale Dwoskin’s “The Sedona Method”, and many others. It’s all about healing – letting go of fear/anger/sorrow. It’s why we’re here and why “stuff happens” – so that we feel the old stuff and release the past – to “forgive”, which is “for giving ourselves peace of mind, joy and health.” Feelings got stuck when we held our breath in fear. So whatever feelings come up, breathe into them… that’s how we tell ourselves that we’re safe here and now.
Patricia, Thank you so much for sharing your heart-felt story, your history, and your journey. It shows us all that healing is available to us if we trust our intuition and follow the guidance of our hearts. Reaching out to others can give us the added support we need when times are tough. We are all a great gift to ourselves and each other. Thank you again for blessing us here with your words of wisdom.