I write about what moves me, what I’m passionate about, what I’m trying to figure out, and what people tell me they want to learn. This has been an interesting year, full of challenges, both personal and professional. I’m dealing with the stresses of a close friend and a close relative in jail facing serious charges. My wife, Carlin, and I have had to face a number of health challenges, but feel we’re on top of things for now. We completed a 25 year cycle living off the grid in the hills outside of Willits and are now beginning a new cycle of our lives living in town.
Through it all I’ve continued my writing. I try and write at least one article each week. For those who are not yet on our mailing list to learn about my latest articles and other news of interest, you can do so HERE.
These are the 10 articles that I’ve felt the strongest about this year. It would please me if you’d look them over and let me know what you think. If you had to pick one that you feel resonated most for you, which one would it be? You can email me. (if you’re writing for the first time be sure and respond to my spamarrest filter so I get your email).
Ever since my second marriage ended in divorce, I’ve been determined to learn more about the elements of real, lasting love and how to achieve them. Before I met Carlin I thought I had learned a lot. But being together now for 36 years, I feel we’ve learned some of the secrets. We learned to deal with my depression and bipolar disorder and how to get through the difficult incompatibilities of stage 3.
We are all confronted with violence in the world. I think the media tends to focus our attention on fear, rather than on what we can really do to be safe. I’ve tried to offer a more helpful and healthful perspective.
Women have entered “men’s world” and are rising in politics and breaking through the glass ceilings. They still have a long way to go, but men have an even longer way to go in breaking into the heal-promoting world of women. I’m a believer in equality and I want to go where I can have the most fun and stay healthy and joyful. That’s often been in “women’s world.”
Let’s face it, being in a relationship isn’t always easy. We strive for love, but often feel wounded and alone. We often focus on the big problems that can undermine a relationship—sexual betrayal, abuse, neglect, or abandonment, but it’s often the little things that can make or break a marriage.
I’ve come to recognize that childhood trauma and wounding are nearly universal in today’s world. We’ve all been wounded and those wounds often go unhealed and later undermine our adult relationships. Understanding our wounding and learning to heal is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and our partner.
It’s clear to many that our present civilization with its emphasis on endless growth cannot survive. We live on a finite planet and we cannot continue to use the earth’s resources and think we can live well forever. Fortunately there is a new movement afoot that can get us back on a healthy and sustainable path. It’s called Civilization 2 (Civ 2). You are welcome to join with us.
I’ve learned that feminism isn’t only for women. I consider myself a feminist, which to me means that we all have a feminine as well as a masculine side to us. I also believe that men and women have real differences in brain chemistry, hormones, and history. We all need to take a deeper look at feminism and recognize its shadow as well as its light.
We are all interested in what it means to be a man, whether we’re male or female. I’ve spent a lifetime exploring sex, gender, and health and I’ve developed some clear ideas about the core secrets that most people don’t know about.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a man or woman say, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore. It is one of the reason’s many marriages end. Most of us believe that we can’t stay “in love” forever. We accept that it is an early stage and we must settle for a deeper love through time. But I believe that deep, crazy, wonderful, romantic love doesn’t have to end and there are ways to stay in love forever.
My father’s suicide attempt when I was 5 years old launched me on a life-long journey to understand what happened to him, whether it would happen to me and how I could help prevent it from happening to other families. This is my 50th year working to fulfill that commitment I made to myself, my family, and the larger community we all share. I’d like those who resonate with this work to join me.
I couldn’t resist. Here’s one more bonus (that actually contains another bonus within it):
Love really does make the world go round. But love isn’t simple and love is definitely not always easy. We often think of love as the domain of women and romance something you read about in women’s magazines. But men need love just as much as women and it can be a mystery to get clear about how to get it and how to give it. Here are some things to consider.
Again, I look forward to your comments. I would very much like it if you let me know which one of these articles resonates most with you. You can email me. (if you’re writing for the first time be sure and respond to my spamarrest filter so I get your email). And if you’d like to be on my mailing list and receive more of my writings, just sign up here.
Here’s to a healthy and prosperous New Year!
This is the one that I’m struggling with
https://menalive.com/how-childhood-trauma-can-wreck-your-relationship-and-what-you-can-do-to-heal/#more-3523
PTSD as a child. I have been in therapy the majority of my life- since age 17 to now at 65.
I never married till 61 and I’m struggling. I see a therapist every other week and my wife and I are both in therapy together every week. I’m scared and don’t remember much of my childhood an what I do remember is through some one else eyes. I need to break through the barrier as I believe I am working the same experience over an over again. I’m trying to live in love but it seems to be always fear.
Thanks for asking
David,
I know how difficult these kinds of healings can be. If there are memory gaps, it usually means two things. There was some trauma in the past and the pain is still so great you aren’t ready to remember. Trust yourself to be kind to your inner child and be open to hearing more about what happened. This seems the right time to heal and having a partner where you can both heal is a blessing. I wish you well on your journey. It isn’t easy, but it will be worth it.
It’s 2016, to consider what you write that I relate to and like to read is probably always the same, the truth. When you write something relatable in a way that allows me to drop into your world I will keep reading. I believe an author’s challenge has to do with the reader’s attention span, with all of the inputs you are competing with you better be good, so that you ask us is smart. I read your posts because I have read your books and found them interesting, it must be difficult to have to generate interesting writing on a regular basis. Actually I find the comments on your articles interesting enough to bring me back each week, so you only have to really be able to touch a nerve. As we get older our world gets smaller and without active participation we loose a number of our social connections, most of mine come from work which will be less soon enough. As an author you must have to work to have social connections as your craft is between you and the medium you use to put your thoughts into words in a way that is interesting. I imagine the way you write is just the way you write and being interesting is something you don’t have to worry about. So the day to day struggle with being homo sapien in 2016 is interesting, what ever topic will generate responses from readers who’s experience is very different from mine and their comments usually move me, I like it when people say their age and a little bit about themselves for context. Like I am 60 years old, I live in update NY; or I am an entrepreneur and I own my own consulting business and the older I get the less I believe the governement is a force for good; or I am a step dad and I’m going to be a grandfather in 2016 and my wif has cancer. All of these are true statements and I am sure each one touches someone if they choose to read my post, well I find it interesting to hear how strangers understand when you write something interesting, something truthful, something real. I find as I get older I can identify bullshit much easier, also I have little patients for bullshit so I move on very quickly, it’s like watching tv now with a clicker. As the world gets more PC I become less, I find that to be true in most people who are experienced in the world; it amazes me that so many today think the world should give a shit about the way they feel and that they can actual control the world’s response. We have a very interesting generation coming at us, I wonder how they will navigate reality now that they are out from under their mothers dress? We’re they provided enough information about how little they matter? Balancing ones importance in a world that ends life in a blink is something we all struggle with so it will be interesting so see this new group of ‘adults’ struggle with the world. So there is a good topic for you; “we are just not that important” , learning how to manage in a world that has no patients. Keep writing your truth and I will keep reading.
Bill, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts in such depth. Sometimes as a writer, I wonder who is reading what I write, or if anyone is. I know by now, that those who comment are the great minority. I know a lot of people are benefiting from my writing and though I write what I feel passionate about because I love to write, I also like to know that it touches people.
As I get older and now have 15 grandchildren I can appreciate what you say about being more who we are and not being afraid to put it out in the world.
My wife and I went through her breast cancer a few years ago and we continue to grow through the physical and emotional changes we experience.
Thanks for sharing your “10 Best Articles”, Jed. Each of them speaks to me in different ways. The ones that stand out for me that I believe have important implications in today’s society include:
3. The Only Man in the Room: I am a strong believer in the concept of “balance”. I believe that in order for all genders to be healthy in all ways, society needs to recognize their worth. This is going to take equal voices from all of us to make this happen since I believe that feminism still has the strongest voice in politics, education, health care, etc.
5. Childhood Trauma: I believe that there are many male walking time bombs because they haven’t been provided with a safe space to unload their wounds. My hope is that more and more services are offered to men to allow this to happen to make our world a safer place for everyone.
7. What I learned from Feminism: I prefer the word “equality” because it is much more inclusive. We need an evolved society where all genders are seen and supported. Until this happens, there will continue to be challenges between genders, etc.
9. The One Secret: It is my experience in today’s distracted society that people have become married to stuff rather than each other. I believe that a major challenge for many people today is to reconnect with their emotions/heart rather than numbing out with movies, food, alcohol, etc. I believe that this is one of the biggest societal challenges that keep Counselors/Psychologists/Social Workers busy.
Blessings in 2016! May there be much healing on the planet.
Grant
Grant, Thanks for voicing the articles that resonated for you and why they touched you. Hope this year is a learning, growing, and healing one for you and all of us.
Dear Mr. Diamond:
I like #11 – The 5 most important things that makes a man feel loved. If married couples would apply those items, their marriage would last longer and be more fulfilling. If the parents would also apply those items to raising their boys, the boys would be more well-rounded when it comes to having and being allowed to express their full range of emotions.
I was watching the entire TV 1960s cartoon Beetle Bailey show series on Youtube last weekend, and I always had admired Beetle who expressed anger, laughter, happiness, sadness, optimism, and even the ability to cry. I also admired those same qualities when I was reading the Beetle Bailey comic strip in the Sunday newspapers especially when he and Sgt Snorkel went after each other with fists. Granted, Beetle got the worse end of it, but it least, Beetle stood up for himself and fought back when push came to shove.
You can’t say that about most of us men in real life not being allowed to have a full range of emotions when they were kids, adults, and whether they were married or not compare to the male cartoon characters back then.
G, thanks for that. I never read the comics, but I resonate with what you shared. We do need to encourage the full expression of feelings.