I will admit it. I’m in love. I would even go so far as to say I’m more in love now than when we first fell in love 44 years ago. My wife, Carlin, and I have been together since 1980. It was the third marriage for each of us. Yes, sometimes, the third time
When people visit my website, MenAlive, you will see my welcome video, “Confessions of a twice-divorced marriage counselor.” I used to try and hide the fact that I’d been married twice and divorced twice. Who would ever want to come to see a marriage counselor who was a failure at marriage? But I’ve learned some
We used to hear a lot about “work-life balance.” In the face of the Covid pandemic, we hear more about “the great resignation” and “relationship breakdown.” Yet, as things breakdown, something new is being born. People haven’t given up on work, intimacy, or communion with our deep selves, but we are looking for something more
I met my first wife at U.C. Santa Barbara in 1965. I was a senior and she was a freshman. We were both young, but sure we had found the partner of a lifetime. We got married the next year and had a son and adopted a daughter as we had planned. Our marriage lasted
One of the most important things I learned about The 5 Stages of Love was that too many relationships hit the rocks at Stage 3. It’s at stage 3 that disillusionment sets in and I often hear statements like these from clients. “I still love her, but I’m not in love with her anymore. I
“I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore.” I hear this over and over from couples who come to me for help because their relationship is about to go under. It is rare that they are both equally concerned. Usually, one person is desperately trying to hold on, while the other person
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