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If you think you may need counseling help, feel free to contact me at Jed@MenAlive.com. (If you're new, be sure and respond to my spamarrest notice so I receive your e-mail.) I offer immediate help in my office or by phone.
Are you a man who is overstressed, frustrated, and angry? Are you a woman who walks on egg shells afraid you will set him off? Is your relationship suffering? This program is for you. To get help CLICK HERE.
Japanese Boys "Act Out" Their Anger and "Act In" Their Pain
He was known only as the boy in the kitchen. His mother, Yoshiko, wouldn't say his name, fearful that neighbors in the Tokyo suburb where they lived might discover her secret. Her son is 17 years old. Three years ago he was unhappy in school and began to play truant. Then a classmate taunted him with anonymous hate letters and scrawled abusive graffiti about him in the schoolyard.
One day, he walked into the family's kitchen, shut the door and refused to leave. Since then, he hasn't left the room or allowed anyone in. The phenomenon of social withdrawal, or hikikomori was first drawn to the attention of the Japanese public following a series of highly publicized crimes. In 2000, a 17 year old hikikomori sufferer left his isolation and hijacked a bus, killing a passenger. Another kidnapped a girl and held her captive in his bedroom for nine years. A fear of hikikomori dominated newspaper headlines. Though most of these young men are not violent, the frustration that many sufferers experience--the desire to live a normal life but the inability to do so--often expresses itself in anger and aggression towards those around them. The trigger is usually an event such as bullying, an exam failure or a broken romance.
These seem to be the same kinds of issues that young males face all over the world. When these pressures become too much to handle, as increasingly they are, some kind of breakdown occurs. For some it is acted out violently. Others withdraw and turn their aggression on themselves. It's interesting that the Japanese have become aware of these kinds of social phenomena. In the 1970s they identified deaths that occurred as a result of overwork. They called it karoshi.
With our networked society, what occurs in one part of the world usually reflects issues that are going on elsewhere. It's important that we ask ourselves about the hidden pain that so many young males experience in our own society. Boys are unlikely to talk directly about these issues. We need to spend time with them, do things together, look for clues in behavior. It's important to listen to the words that are not spoken.
There are no easy answers. One thing we do know is that there is a strong relationship between the "acting out" that males do as we express our anger towards others and the "acting in" that we do as we focus our unhappiness on ourselves. As was true of the Japanese young males who are suffering from hikikomori, we may alternate between outward and inward focus. Outward focused irritability and anger is often a sign of male type depression.
Does this sound familiar? Drop me a line and let me know what you have experienced.
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I offer two options for help: (1) Personal counseling with me and (2) My new internet-based program.
If you think you may need counseling help, feel free to contact me at Jed@MenAlive.com. (If you're new, be sure and respond to my spamarrest notice so I receive your e-mail.) I offer immediate help in my office or by phone.
Are you a man who is overstressed, frustrated, and angry? Are you a woman who walks on egg shells afraid you will set him off? Is your relationship suffering? This program is for you. To get help CLICK HERE.
Mission:
MenAlive seeks to enrich men's relationships with themselves, their families, and their communities.
Vision:
MenAlive focuses on male menopause as a critical bridge to the second half of life. We focus on the Irritable Male Syndrome and men and depression, to prepare men to cross that bridge. We address the hormonal, physical, psychological, interpersonal, sexual, nutritional, economic, social, ecological, and spiritual aspects of men's health and act as an influential source of timely information, resources, products and community centered events on male menopause and men's health, for men and the women who love them.
