Although anger has a negative impact on men, I learned that it is often the women and children who suffer the most. “Recently, he has begun venting, to anyone who will listen, about how horrible we all are,” 53 year-old Jennifer wrote me. “If our adult-children aren’t living up to his standards, it is my fault. If he can’t find his socks, he accuses me of misplacing them, just to piss him off. I’m not kidding—that’s what he tells me. What hurts the most is that he has withdrawn all affection. It’s like someone transformed him from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. I want my husband back!”
This is typical of the thousands of letters and e-mails I have received from women all over the world since The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the 4 Key Causes of Depression and Aggression was first published by Rodale in 2004. I get the question, why is my husband so angry?, a lot. More and more women are feeling the pain of living with an angry male and want help for themselves, their children, and for the man they all love.
Anger is an increasingly serious problem in our society today according to Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and former President of the American Psychological Association. “Out-of-hand anger ruins many lives,” he says. “More, I believe, than schizophrenia, more than alcohol, more than AIDS. Maybe even more than depression.” Seligman’s research also shows that when couples fight, it can damage their children, often in lasting ways. [Read more...]