Male Menopause and Energy Medicine: Healing the Stresses of Mid-Life Men

When my book Male Menopause was first published in 1997, most people had never heard of “male menopause,” also known by the more scientific term “andropause.” But I knew the impact on family members who loved these men. Common symptoms of male menopause, including erectile dysfunction, loss of sexual desire, irritability, weight gain, and low energy, impact the men as well as their families. More men and women are recognizing that male menopause is real. It affects all men as they move through their forties (though it can start as early as thirty or as late as fifty-five). We can now do a lot to prevent and treat the problems associated with this major change of life.

While many in the mainstream medical community still question whether men go through a hormonally based change of life, increasing numbers of health care professionals are convinced as they study the research.

  • Marc R. Blackman, MD, former chief of endocrinology and metabolism at Johns Hopkins Medical Center, says, “The male menopause is a real phenomenon, and it does similar things to men as menopause does to women, although less commonly and to a lesser extent.”
  • Ronald Klatz, MD, DO, president of the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine says, “One of the best-kept secrets is that men go through a male form of menopause called andropause.”
  • Robert S. Tan, MD, fellow of the American Geriatrics Society and pioneer researcher, says, “The andropause is the time in a man’s life when the hormones naturally decline. Mosby’s Medical Dictionary defines the andropause as “a change of life for males that may be expressed in terms of career change, divorce, or reordering of life. It is associated with a decline in androgen levels that occur in men during their late forties or early fifties.”
  • Theresa Crenshaw, MD, expert on male and female hormones and author of The Alchemy of Love and Lust, says, “In the case of male menopause, we are still in the Dark Ages. Men have fewer guideposts to help them today than women had a generation ago. Only recently have we begun to understand the biochemistry of these events, tilting the scales toward a physiological explanation.”
  • Author Gail Sheehy says, “If menopause is the silent passage, male menopause is the unspeakable passage. It is fraught with secrecy, shame, and denial. It is much more fundamental than the ending of the fertile period of a woman’s life, because it strikes at the core of what it is to be a man.”

My colleague, Malcolm Carruthers, MD, one of the world’s experts on the male change of life captures the essence of what men go through: “Andropause is a critical health concern for men and the women who love them. It’s often insidious onset can be at any time from the age of thirty onward, though typically it is in the fifties. One of the reasons it’s often missed is that it is usually more gradual in onset than the menopause in the female, although it is more severe in its long-term consequences. It is a crisis of vitality just as much as virility, even though it’s most obvious sign is loss both of interest in sex and of erectile power.”

Energy Medicine at Mid-life

In my recent book, MenAlive:  Stop Killer Stress with Simple Energy Healing Tools, I describe four simple tools you can learn to use to relieve stress during the male mid-life:

  • Attachment Love
  • Heart Coherence
  • Earthing
  • Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or Tapping)

For more complete details on these tools please read the Four Energy Healing Secrets Your Doctor Hopes You’ll Never Learn.

In the meantime, here’s a simple Attachment Love Technique.   Close your eyes and take a number of deep breaths. Slowly let them out. Remind yourself that you are dependent on your partner and your partner is dependent on you to meet your needs for safety, security, and love. Recall a memory in which you felt deep love and affection for your partner. Imagine that you enclose them in your arms and whisper in their ear, “I love you deeply, and I am here for you.” Now recall a time when your partner reached out to you when you needed them. Imagine your partner enclosing you in their arms and whispering in your ear, “I love you deeply, and I am here for you.”

Let yourself feel the warmth and gratitude of feeling cared for and loved. If you don’t have a partner, imagine a partner you might like to have and feel yourself being held and holding a partner. Or think of a time in your life when you felt love for someone else. It could be an old lover or friend or even a child. Imagine holding them, seeing them, and feeling them. Or think of a time when you were loved, cared for, and protected. Let yourself be filled with the light of unconditional love.

Another energy healing tool that I often use is the HeartMath quick coherence technique. Close your eyes and take a number of deep breathes and let yourself relax. Focus your attention on the area around your heart. Breathe deeply but normally and feel as if your breath is coming in and going out through your heart area. As you maintain your heart focus and heart breathing, activate a positive feeling. Remember a time when you felt strong and sure of yourself, a time when your partner or someone important in your life let you know what a good man you were. Hold that thought as you continue to imagine your breath coming in and out of your heart area.

I’m always amazed that shifting my internal energy from a state of anger, agitation, hurt, or shame to one of joy, peace, and self-acceptance can turn things around when they seem out of control. Midlife, like adolescence, is a difficult time for most of us. Using these energy healing tools can make our midlife passage smoother and more joyful.

If you found this post to be of value let me recommend Male Menopause and How It Impacts the Family.  You can also sign up to receive my comprehensive eBook on Male Menopause.

Photo Credit:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/haroldoferrary/

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Comments

  1. Teddy Lambert says:

    Jed,
    This male menopause thing is very real!! I am 51+ and a couple of years ago, I started to have these feelings of anxiety, depression, low libido, ED, etc… I couldn’t understand what was happening to me! I then found some of your articles online and purchased your book,” The Irritable Male” among other related books and articles. I began to have my eyes opened to this phenomenon! Also it helps to have a wife who believes what you are telling her and sees it first hand! I have used some of your techniques and they have worked. I am not totally beyond it yet, but I do feel better than I have in a few years.
    Regards,
    Teddy Lambert

    • Teddy, Thanks so much for sharing. I know Male Menopause is real and so do millions of men and the women who love them. Its been more difficult to get the medical professionals to recognize this. Interestingly, female doctors seem to have an easier time addressing these issues than male doctors. I guess our own resistance can get in the way. I’m glad you are doing better. Keep us posted. It would be nice if your wife cared to share any of her thoughts.

  2. dave eriksen says:

    Hi there, I hope you may be able to help in some way please, last week my partner has just told me she does not want to have sex as much anymore. We would have sex (past 7 months) maybe once a month. We are both 48 and healthy. She is a business woman I am a physical worker and high sporting achiever. When I spoke to her about it finally out of frustratrion we got into a heated arguement especially when I mentioned she see a Dr. Things have been very average between us since.

    • Dave,

      There are a lot of reasons why a partner wants to have less sex, including physical discomfort, menopausal changes in hormone levels, fears, anxiety, fatigue, etc. The key is to be able to talk openly about what you each want and what your concerns are about sexuality. If you have difficulty talking, a good counselor can often help.

  3. Wow I never thought about male menopause and am suffering in silent. Today while doing some research about my study in Mental Health, I came across this article and I continued to read until I discovered that this is real. Its true that I do not think about sex any more nor any pleasure to do things I used to do before. I am in my 50′s and also having problems at work (working since a year but still on probation as it had been extended twice) I feel guilty and paranoid about having a full time job. I feel sad and worthless. I need help. Thanks

  4. Akash, I’m glad this article stimulated your thinking. I have been working with men for a long time and I know that too many of us are in denial and suffer in silence. Recognizing that things aren’t the way we want them to be is the first step in breaking out of this circle of silence. Reaching out is the next big step which you are doing. I can tell you that help is available. You no longer have to suffer as you have been. Feel free to check out more of our articles here and if you are interested in personal counseling you can click the link at the top of the website or email me directly at Jed@MenAlive.com

  5. So I got online tonight and googled a few of my symptoms. Mood swings, general irritability, tired, lethargic, basic “I don’t care attitude” to most things I used to enjoy, sudden sweating where I feel hot inside my body, night sweats, weight gain that I just can’t seem to lose…. I have been dealing with chronic pain (and on pain meds) for 10 plus years and have blamed many of these symptoms on the pain and medications but your articles make me wonder if that’s not the case. When I complained to my pain management doctor about the mood issues he put me on an antidepressant – I just don’t like the way they make me feel so I have stopped taking them. Later I complained to my primary care doctor about being tired… a physical and emotional tired, in addition to a “i must not be sleeping well” tired. I can get 14 hours of sleep (which I end up doing almost every Saturday) and feel just as tired as if I had gotten 6. They tested my thyroid level and put my on thyroid medication. Have been on that for over a year or more and can’t tell a difference really.

    So is male menopause something that can be checked with a simple blood test? If testosterone levels are low I am assuming hormone shots or something like that are given to correct things – but are there down sides/side effects that should be considered?

    • Kristoffer, Its important to get a complete evaluation by someone who understands these issues. It sounds like you may need to look around to find the right practitioner. You can get a blood test for low testosterone or other hormonal imbalances, but there are a lot of things that can be causing your symptoms. There’s a new book out you may want to take a look at. Its called Manopause by Lisa Friedman Bloch and Kathy Kirtland Silverman. Its focused on what women can do, but its got good information for men as well.

  6. Adam M.Klekawka says:

    Can you supply me with the names of physicians,preferably female,who treat male menopause with sympathy and undserstanding.I find female physicians to be more “simpatico” overall.Thank you.

  7. Adam, I don’t have a list of specific practitioners that treat male menopause medically. But I agree, often women are better practitioners than men. You might want to check out Body Logic. They are a group of physicians that specialize in these areas and a number of them are women:

    http://www.bodylogicmd.com/

    Let me know what you find out.

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